Archaeologists in Sicily Discover an Ancient Stylus With an Erection. Yes, That Kind of Erection

From museum shops to souvenir stores, it’s not hard to find pencils and pens decorated with just about anything these days. In Sicily, however, archaeologists have uncovered an ancient instrument embellished with something unusual, to say the least.

That is, by most standards. You could probably find something like this in Provincetown.

During archaeological excavations in Gela, southern Sicily, experts uncovered an extremely rare ceramist’s stylus, a tool used for marking and writing. The artifact is just over 5 inches (13.2 centimeters) long, made of bone, and adorned with an outstanding precision that doesn’t spare its most striking feature: an extremely erect penis.

I guess that makes it a bone with a boner.

Dionysus on a pen

“Once again,†Francesco Paolo Scarpinato, Councilor for Cultural Heritage and Sicilian Identity, said in a statement by the Sicilian Region, “Gela is returning important pieces of history that contribute to enhancing the culture of a region that played a central role in ancient times and which, thanks to the presence of so many archaeological sites, can truly grow and become a point of reference for the sector.â€

The stylus, discovered whole, features the head of a man and an erect phallus. The statement reports the male head to likely be a herm of Dionysus, the Greco-Roman deity of ecstasy and wine, among other things. A herm is a square column usually with male genitals and the god Hermes’ bust. The stylus dates back to the fifth century BCE, according to its extraordinarily refined workmanship.

A religious offering to the divine

“This stylus is truly unique in the archaeological landscape of the time,†said Daniela Vullo, Superintendent of Cultural Heritage in Caltanissetta, Sicily. “Probably used as an offering to the gods, its distinctive features mean it deserves to be exhibited and returned to public view.â€

The Superintendency of Caltanissetta organized the archaeological excavations in association with the construction of a new building. The archaeological work also enabled researchers to identify a large Hellenistic quarter. Founded in 689 BCE by people from Crete and Rhodes, Gela was, in fact, a Greek colony. The city thrived under the tyrant Hippocrates of Gela at the beginning of the fifth century, and the Carthaginians wrecked it at the end of the same century.

If you’ve ever walked through a museum of ancient history, you’ll know that nudity is far from uncommon in Greco-Roman art. Still, imagine making eye contact with a very excited Dionysus every time you pick up your stylus to get some work done in your ceramic shop…