How Many Rs Are in Waterboarding?

Do you like playing around with AI? And are you a fan of overthrowing democratically elected governments to advance Trump-style fascism around the world? Well, we just heard about a job you might like.

The CIA posted a tweet Thursday morning calling for any fans of artificial intelligence tools to look at a career with the Central Intelligence Agency. Well, maybe “any†isn’t the right word, given the Trump regime’s desire to elevate white men in positions of authority.

“If you have expertise in using AI to gain insights from data, a CIA career might be right for you,†CIA tweeted with a link explaining what they’re looking for.

While there’s no doubt that AI is rapidly changing the world, large language models (LLMs) are still struggling to deliver on their lofty promises. Generative AI is being sold as something akin to a god, with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman insisting it’s like having PhD experts to answer any question.

“It would have been unimaginable at any previous time in history,†Altman said during the release of GPT-5. “You get access to an entire team of PhD-level experts in your pocket, helping you with whatever you want to do. And anyone pretty soon will be able to do more than anyone in history could.â€

But these things are not infallible. And that makes us a little nervous whenever a truly powerful entity like the CIA signals they’re all-in on the extremely flawed tech.

Large language models still trip up while attempting some very basic things. For example, we recently asked ChatGPT which states had the letter R in their name. It listed states like Minnesota, Illinois, and Massachusetts, which obviously don’t have an R. And then we successfully bullied it into believing Vermont didn’t have an R. Sure, LLMs can be useful for some tasks, but they’re being marketed as being capable of things that are far beyond their capabilities.

The job listing at the CIA’s website is careful to note that taking a data scientist role at the agency will require any applicants to “ensure models are accurate, reliable, and explainable.†Which is important, of course, when you’re talking about life and death issues. These are the folks who have spread U.S.-style democracy around the world through campaigns of torture, coup d’états, and morally repugnant studies on unwitting test subjects.

And with President Donald Trump at the helm, you can bet the CIA’s mission in 2025 is as seedy as it’s ever been. Our only saving grace may be that Trump’s goons are both incompetent and working against each other in underhanded ways.

Tulsi Gabbard, the Director of National Intelligence, is supposed to be working in her role as the liaison between the White House and all of America’s intelligence agencies. But you’ve been forgiven for thinking that she looks like she’s working on destroying the country’s intelligence community from the inside. She recently surprised the CIA when she publicly announced the name of an undercover officer, according to the Wall Street Journal. Gabbard also just flatly lies sometimes, like when she claims that Russia had no preference for Trump to win the 2016 election.

There’s no evidence Gabbard is using AI to determine who should lose their security clearance, but it wouldn’t surprise us if that’s the kind of thing that’s happening regularly now at agencies like the CIA. Back in June, Gabbard let it slip that she asked AI about which files to declassify related to the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963. Even when it comes to image generation, AI has become the aesthetic of fascism.

Generative AI is a tool that some people find very useful. But it’s most useful for questions that have already been asked and answered. If you try to throw something new at it, that’s when it’s most likely to fail, as Gizmodo has demonstrated with our own tests. And even basic math questions are difficult for AI because it’s designed to mimic human speech patterns, not perform basic grade-school tasks like counting.

Here’s hoping the CIA doesn’t need to know how many Rs are in “strawberry.†Or in waterboarding, for that matter.